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Saturday, 24 January 2009

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    There is nothing more frustrating than having crazy intense chemistry with someone, without even talking to them, but youre too scared, and he's too scared to talk.

Sunday, 04 January 2009

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    Haven't written in here for a long time, but happy new year for whoever reads this....

     Today was the last day of my Christmas break, and I didn't do anything productive, but I was prefectly content with just sitting home and watching movies. Usually, I'm dying to go back to school, but September - December of Sophmore year have been terrible, but I'm hoping that the year gets better, and I really do believe it will.

    I saw really great movies this break:

    A Clockwork Orange, Full Metal Jacket, Lolita, American History X, Cruel Intentions, Garden State, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. ( all in order actually !)

    My friends always ask me if I've seen movies with like Amanda Bynes in it and then they are like "OMG I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU!! YOURE MISSING OUT!!" whenever I say no. I'm the one who feels bad for them. I love deep intense movies, and sorry most people my age are stuck with their little cinderella movies.

    School tomarrow....wish me luck.

Monday, 22 December 2008

  • Denied.

    Well today was one of the most shocking days of my life..

    Last week I had auditioned for a role in the chorus of my high schools spring musical "Pirates of Penzance." I did really well at my audition and then I got a callback, where I had to sing infront of everyone, and everyone told me I was really good. People know me as being a really good singer, I would always get solos when I aduditioned in chorus, and I was even chosen to sing at a music festival, only the best teengers in CT.

    Today the cast was posted...and I didn't see my name .I didn't even make the chorus. I was so shocked at first that all I could do is laugh, and I didn't even care. But then as the day went on, I became increasingly angry. I know that I am a good singer, and I have no idea why I didn't make it. Everyone is so shocked that I didn't make it...I was in it last year(anyone could make it. ) I have no idea why I wasn't chosen this year..I'm playing the race card with this one. My family and I have experienced racism before because of our crazy middle eastern last name. I'm thinking that maybe the producers and directors of the play have some kind of grudge towards Persian people. I'm so confused. My friend is going to go ask the director why she wasn't chosen, but I could even answer that for her...SHE WAS TERRIBLE. Sorry for my honesty, but she really was. I want to ask the director but at the same time I'm so upset and angry that my talent was not appreciated that I'm like..whatever, fuck them.

    It sucks cause I was really excited to be in the play this year and the following years to come..but I don't want to audition anymore because I don't want to kiss ass to the people who don't appreciate me.

    I'm disgusted.

Sunday, 21 December 2008

  • Adults can act so immature

     

     I've been trapped inside my house since Thursday, by choice.

    There was a snowday on Friday, and I really had no need to go out on Saturday. Last night my parents and I were all suppossed to go to a bridal showerr, but I refused to go because of the adults that were going to be there. They are so fake and phoney to eachother, its disgusting. One day their best friends, and the next day they hate eachother and don't invite eachother to their holidy parties. It's really pathetic. There is this lady that I know was going to be invited but I especially didn't go because of her. When I was about 8, she called me stupid infront of a bunch of other adults because I didn't speak Farsi fluently, even though no one speaks to me in Farsi at home.

    I think that is completely unjust and disgusting of an adult to say, and she is a mother of 2. I really just can't be around toxic people like that. I didn't know how to stand up for myself when I was that young, but I would love to see what I would do if she said that to me now. This summer I worked as a waitress with these other 2 teenage girls. This one man who is friends with the owner came in and helped me for about 2 minutes and gave one of the tables 2 forks. That table left me $50 because I was a very good waitress iofcourse,but the owner and  demanded that I split half with my "helper". I tried to plead my case, but it didn't work.

    I seriously get so sick when I think about that. There I was, a 15 year old girl, having her hard earned money taken away by adults. I understand that not all adults are like this, its just a shame that I've run into so many cruel adults.

    Anyways, being in my house for 3 days, I've deffinitly gained about 5 lbs. Lindt chocolate is really amazing.

    School tomarrow...=( I'm not in the mood, I only have Monday and then half a day Tuesday..then Xmas break...how exciting.

    -Sara

     

     

Saturday, 20 December 2008

  • first entry

    I haven't used Xanga in about 4 years...since 6th grade.

    I was just on my friends xanga today and decided I wanted one too. I've had a private online diary for 2 years but it's lonley when no one comments your entries like they do on xanga...

    I stumbled across some really cool weblogs on here and really ejoyed reading them...like the datingish thing...

    I want to start using this more often :)

     

    -sara

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exhale8x

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    • Name: exhale8x
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 12/20/2008

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